Artrocker T.V + Sterling Crumble

I'm Back again, Back with my 45, got a new car to drive etc etc. It's been a while since i blogged...ed and since the last time theres been a lot of tings a'gwarn pon the road and the web, the first of which is the new layout and home of the Artrocker Magazine Website www.artrocker.tv This website has become the first and foremost "http://" i visit on a daily basis, it's always as up to date as any 24 hour news channel and more so than skynews..OH NO HE DI'NT.. Oh yes he did, I'm hoping to someday blog from the .tv but hey its gon' take grind, in this recession every thing's gonna be a tad more work. Did somebody say Recession? AWWWWW YEAH!!!!!

SEGWAY!!!
A new track was released by Marvin (formerly the Martian) but lets just call him Marvin, the track is called 'Sterling Crumble' and it's the boom-diggity, my favourite aspect of the track is the beat which is AWESOME!! I hear its produced by some kinda super genius who just oozes cool and sex and Greativity (thats right they invented a new word for him..GREATIVITY..GREAT+CREATIVITY) I've attached the link below for your listening pleasure both via Z-share and Marvins very own blogalog

www.devilinthedistance.blogspot.com

Z-Share- Sterling Crumble


This Is an Invasion..and not green Lantern more like the last track on the Classic tape 'Somebodies watching me' which is also available on Devil in the distance and also features another track form the Greative producer of Sterling Crumble.

Pleasant views of my links people...and remember YOU CAN'T UN-WATCH IT!!!

Your Pussy Rap is DEAD!! A Mili-seconds Silence..Over? good back to work then.

FUCK LIL WAYNE, FUCK N-DUBZ, FUCK BASHY, FUCK ROBERT KELLY AND FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!
Since Hovito released "Death of Autotune" a couple of days ago i have felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, now as you may know (if anyone follows this mad mans ramblings) i often said it, meant it and bite my tongue for no-one but as of late i have felt surrounded like im having to swing in circles and catching these pussy's on the chin only to have to double up with a body blow for the Legions of disillusioned assholes waiting in the wind to Mohawk their hair and zip up their big shiny coats. Now don't get me wrong it wouldn't be fun unless there were lames i could body in person with maybe a subtle dig or even a very unsubtle bat to the cranium so i can knock the product off that scalp and peanut that skinny tie your rockin while you bump some Weezy in ur iPhone and you check your Twitter status just in case theres a soft as fuck poem about sunshine and cider that you can regurgitate later to your drunk Cock witted friends. However as of late i've witnessed all around me, i mean ALL ( No Why-Lout? personnel DUH) slippin to the soft side and Mohawkin their hair and skinny ties and iPhones FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! twitter!! I have been waititng in the wind for bout 12 months now just biding my time before i either went postal at the Brit School or just picked up a Mic and took to the streets and issuing ultimatums to all those whom know who they are but now i have proof that those that matter, well the who matters has had enough and made it abundantly clear that Autotune is dead, what next Hip-Pop? well if i have anything to do with it the whole fuckin music scene of the past 3 years may be found in the sea along with some debris that COULD be the plane, can't be sure tho.

Granted if you have made it to this point in the blog (Which i doubt) you're thinkin either "this guys on point" or "What..im sorrry what that doesnt even make sense" your both right, but remember this. 08/06/09 the day Bashy went missin, the day Dappy lost his voice box and the day somebody ran up in an Oceanas Club and bodied hundreds of people leaving only a trail of blood and iPhones.

R.I.P Autotune...i mean it keep the fuck quiet!!!!!!

It's all Pollitics

Sunday 25th May 2009 10:00am Approx, Tego, Jack Nimble, Marvin and myself make our way to the City Hall on the riverbank net to the Tower Bridge, Pollitics is our insentive, Form 696 which is some racist shieeeit!, basically stating that any artist whos music falls under the genres; Grime, Bashment or Rap must fill out a form giving info such info as Government name, Address and ethnicity of the audience ecpected, just in case one of those racially motivated Rap riots happens that we all hear about, remember whn M.O.P shot a white guy for dancin along to Ante Up, it was awful. So the BBc1 thought this form deserved some air time on the always informative "Pollitics show" they of course first contacted our very own Hip-Hop representetive Akira The Don, being a man of the people Akira directed the attention of the fat cats to Marvin, for a more accurate view on the Racism that is being directly shoved into the already failing system of the live "Urban" Music performance, ontop of the fact that he him self is a Black (Not offensive, cam down) aswell as a fairly well etablished blogger ove ron www.deilinthedistance.blogspot.com helped with posts from himslef and Producer Jack Nimble and Tego.

A BMV 5 series picks Marv and Nimbl up in Streatham while me and Tego make our own way there trailing said BMW in our whip like reall an truely awesome spies (Its not like we weren't meant to be there, we just like bein' awesome spies, RIGHT!?) We were throughouly entertained by the sight of what can only be accurately depicted as Thousands of "Millwall FAAAANS" on their way to Wembley to see what they had no idea would be a real kick in the teeth for all South Lonononers who care more about kickin teeth than balls (Footballs) , I for one am a South Londoner who was happy to see the Lions get the shit punched out of them in such a manor, but thats me.
Once we arrived at City Hall we waited in the Green Room for about 20 mins along with Mr Peter Thatchell, one of the bravest men in the entire country, that s right i rep, for him , not them...not that i have a problem with them, i just dont hug em, you know.

Anyway when we go down to buisness Marvin was on live BBC1 programming puttin his views across his views and...shit, all went well, he didnt whip it out, he didnt shit, or poop, or burp or go on a racial tirade against the damn crackers (That's what i had planned)thats right Marvs a National Celeb now, all proffessional nd shit! as for me? well im the face in tCity hall now, they all know, thay all want me, next stop...perhaps a cameo in Horne and Corden, or a speaking role in Eastenders or perhaps i could be on BBC3's "Im fat and/or ugly thus need to be mocked on tele" I love that SHIT!!!!


Ok now....Fuck Off...F**CUNT!

Glass Houses....Stones.....2nd Glass House.

In the midst of the Government being exposed as being tea leaf's across the board from middle to back benchers a lot has been said regarding the media's treatment of this scandal, many have praised the no holds barred approach by such outlets as the Times and BBC news as they dig and dig so they can bury and bury, as much as i disagree with the "Expenses" racked up by our government and future government that are a literal slap in the face to the recession hit public of London, England and the Fucking entire world at the very least (The very very least) these are members of Parliament and Government and all that Jazz so the fact that they are earning ungodly amounts of money and still taking the shrapnel out of our pockets to fund their Fetish for Donkey Sex and keeping their shoes shined is no REAL shock is it? No its not...no no....Shut up now im right...WHAT DID I JUST SAY!? However what i feel is more scandalous, and if not more maybe on par, if not par maybe a bogey of ...scandal (That golf pun didn't really work but ill stick to my laurels DAMIT!) i that on BBC news 24 on the 11th of May 2009 an interview between Lord Foulkes and BBC presenter Carrie Gracie regarding the Expenses scandal in which, of course, Mrs Gracie attempted to take the opportunity to climb up on that high horse that the BBC seemed to have Bugsy'd (NOT BAGSY'D YOU FUCK WITS!)and kick this Lord whilst he was down.

Instantly on the Attack Mrs Gracie slams that the Thieving fuckers should pay back the money they stole from us to pay for that fancy watch, Fair point maybe not worded so perfectly but just none the less. In response to this assault Lord Foulkes reutled with the intriguing question of how much a BBC in-studio correspondent was paid for their 3 days of work a week consisting of reading the papers and making shit up, a question i have longed to ask but have been unable to due to my problem of vomiting every time i speak to a member of Lucifer's army, but alas i got my awnser, Mrs Graci responded proudly that she was paid......Wait for it.....3 days work......"£92,000" a year.....ill let you digest that for a second.....ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!! This is on average 3 times the amount an Mp makes per annum and i can say head held high as a man who fucking despises and lives for the demise of our current establishment that any Mp...ANY does more for us than a BBC presenter, no question.

With a little bit more Research and sleuthing it came to my attention that old flat face cold heart Jeremy Paxman earns over £100,000 a year and yet claims he is a person for the people..Bullshit do you even remember Decembers my Birthday?!
Another little thought you can take with you is this.....Whom pays for the production of BBC programming and thus wages of those hired by the British Broadcasting Company! I GIVE YOU NEWS FOR FREE....THIS IS NEWS!!!!! WHERES MY £100,000....in the mail? oh ok cheers.

Overcooked Hotshots...im back...late

It's been a while since i did a blog, the main reason for this is having my head buried in the sand so i couldn't hear the Man Utd fans luaghing or the Mp's crying cos they second home's flooded and they ran up their expenses account watchin some midget porn while eatin ferrero Roche and drinkin Crystal ALL ON OUR BUCK! Aswell as my Ostrich manouvers i have been buried in music, really lovin the new Asher Roth album, he managed to make one album of approximately 14 tracks and that, alone has bettered any Eminem catalogue you can throw at me. I know i shouldn't compare them because they're both white, and i didn't SO DONT JUMP THE FUCKIN GUN RIGHT! i compare cos Asher compares on his Album, i aslo draw comparison because the most recent Marshall alvum is out in a matter of weeks, thus far i have heard three songs from the "Relapse"(From?) The first single "MAde you" i like as much as i can like a faceless pop song based on current events, its better than more recent Em' singles even if it is ESSENTIALLY THE SAME SONG! i like the production, ye thats bout it. "3am" sucks early mornin' cock and the other ones shit! Whilst on the subject of Marshall i have a lil problem that needs airin' i know its been diggin at my Piff Codee Tego, Whats he relapsin From? all the money? you addicted to the money EM? hooked on that green? cos i hear Dre's Detoxin from it, Luckily for Eminem releasin' an Album in this the post apocaliptic Music world in which N-Dubz Reign Supreme and Elton John gets sampled by some kids and that shits number 3 in the charts is the equivalent of Rehab from money......FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK!!!! sorry, just took a second to think just how much i fuckin hate these Brit school WANNABEES! Fuckin N-dubz, nuff respect for platinum MOST DEF! gotta respect that hustle but BUT you guys could just chill, think about it and decide either "We can make real musci with this fan base and money" OR "HOLY SHIT WE ARE THE CANCER ON MICHAEL BUFFER'S THROAT STOPPIN ANY BODY FROM RUMBLIN"

HOLY FUCK it feels good to vent on the keyboard, lets see, what else has pissed me off recently?........Fuckin JEWS na i joke i joke, you guys are alright. I got myself my very first contract phone, oh ye im rollin like that. The Nokia E71 is the phone, £20 a month is the price, 3 is the Network Awesome is the deal!. Unlimited Internet and text aswell as 300 minuites WOOOOOOOOOO loverly!

What am i doing now you say? now? right now? well im bangin' the ferociously hot new Politically Incorrect Podcast by Big Jack Nimble available for free Below.
Shit features the hottest in new music including the soon to be club, Whip and house Banger "Sterling Crumble" Prod. by Big Nim himslef and Yours Truely B-Official.

Free download available below:

Politically Incorrect Podcast


Enjoy! Till Next time, Fuck them and you, not not you, YES YOU!!! FUCKER!

Akira The Don-Star Trek Theme

Akira The Don - Theme From Star Trek 2009 from akdonovan on Vimeo.


This Shit Bangs outrageous. Akira The Don.....NICE!

DUDE! eat a salad!

As a lifetime vegetarian and lifetime asshole i thrive on tellin' carnivores how fuckin immoral they are (Shit's fun) i have come up against all manner of meat eater in my line of conflict, the fast food only i.e "if it aint a pattie it wont get eaten": The retarded i.e "I'll eat chicken, but not chicken heart, no beef, but duck etc etc and of course the connoisseur i.e "I'll eat any thing movin" i must say the latter is the only manner of carnivore i can even vaguely respect, if you eat animal you eat all animal, no racism, no ignorance nice. However pointless and time wasting it is to attempt to persuade a meat eater to put down the carcus and pick up a celery it is still a hobby of mine that i divulge in at every opportunity, its like questioning somebodies faith, only they can't get TOO upset about it cos its just sustenance as opposed to salvation and as much as you may enjoy chomping on some sweaty bloody muscle you know you could just as easily slice an apple or suck a carrot (these no-homo jokes doin anything for ya'?) But it has come to my attention recently that the ever increasing mass of meat consumed by man is becoming something of a global issue that apparently effects not only you being a fat fuck who's breathe kicks of death but also it effects "The Earth"

Now let me clear this up, i am a vegetarian (Go on laugh it up, just dont have a heart attack) i am no mans hippie, no mans tree hugger, shit i'll eat you if left with no choice without a second thought but whilst conducting my daily intake of world news from around....well....the world i stumbled upon a news story on the Guardian website sighting that fat fucks are killin us all, now understand when i say fat i don't mean weight, or size i mean Fat Filthy Mcdonalds obsessed bastards who's 5-a-day is the chips on the side, or a strawberry milkshake instead of chocolate or perhaps an apple pie, im talking abouth the shmuck who leaves their vegetables on the plate and get their dinner from whatever takeout place is named after an American state E.G Kentucky, Tennessee or Dallas. Those are the type of bitches we hate (Snakes/Masta Ace Ft Rah Digga) Like i say im not judging meat eaters, its up to you what you put inside your body, but in this health crazy world that we live in i find it incredible that" the UK consumes 19% more food than it did 40 years ago, which equates to an extra 60 mega tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions a year. It also included the extra transport-related emissions caused by the increased obesity." Greenhouse gases my fuckin ass, you can disregard that if you like but the point is still there 19%!!!! and although i disregarded the greenhouse gas remark 60 megatons is the kind of weight that shits me up, doesnt even sound like a measurement, sounds like a transformer, a Decepticon !(The bad ones for you too young or too ignorant)

As a youngster i was taught that the health of a person could be directly discovered by calculating the BMI (Body Mass Index) of said person, this is your weight divided by your height times Pie or some shit i don't know i didnt pay attention, all i remember was what the numbers meant:

BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5 weight =" 18.5-24.9" overweight =" 25-29.9" obesity =" BMI">

Now im sure BMI is just another load of bullshit that they brainwashed us with like Heaven or the O-zone layer but none the less i did some research and discovered the average BMI of us, thats right US! I discovered that the average male BMI in England between 1994 and 2004 rose from 26 to 27.3. For women it rose from 25.8 to 26.9 which equates to an extra half a stone (about 3kg). That's some rise in just one decade, let alone four. Furthermore, it is estimated that 40% of Britons will be classified as obese by 2010, thats next year SHIT! Although this study was taken out to see the significant impact of our increased weight and/or consumption of more meat resulting in more slaughter than ever before on the Planet Earth DUDE! it has become more than that it has become a show of how weak and fat and stupid we as a people are becoming. We are queen ants ( bare with me im going somewhere) we sit on our fucking asses waiting for others to feed us, to sustain us, we do not hunt, we can not hunt, with no gun we're defenseless as a people and this is our own doing, drop Rick Waller in the jungle what could he kill, he couldnt climb for a bird or squirrel, he couldnt run for a bore or lamb (there are no lambs or squirrels in the Jungle) he would be screwed, i would eat plants if necessary but if not i, i with my vegetable power would catch that bore and climb for that bird with no problem, then i'd eat it, real quick like see! no probs! but thats just 'cos im better than Rick Waller, or you, yeah im better than you no doubt.

In summary "PUT THE FUCKING PATTIE DOWN AND N'YAM A CARROT OR SOME FUCKING DUST!"